Hi! I'm what some consider an "Ex-vangelical". I spent the first 25ish years of my life fully dedicated to the Christian faith and the evangelical community. I was a baptized believer who grew up in a Southern Baptist Church, and my whole world centered around my faith. I was heavily involved with my church and other faith-based organizations. As I grew older I was constantly seeking to learn and understand more about the Bible and theology. As an adult I was still studying scripture to deepen my faith and trying to live as the best Christian I could be. Along the way though I discovered that many Christian teachings I was raised with and many Christian's actions did not align with what I was seeing in scripture. The recognition started slow, and eventually it shattered my world. My entire belief system came crashing down and it was a terrifying experience. But my drive to understand the Bible did not wane. I have been on a journey for the last 6 years or so to reclaim my faith and spirituality, try to counteract any damage I may have done while believing harmful ideologies, and do what I can to help support others who are in this difficult place of doubting the worldview they've always known. 

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I am not an expert in the Bible. I have read the entire bible, and I have some knowledge of history and context and studying the bible, but not the kind of knowledge someone who has earned degrees in such areas would have. I want to be very up-front about that. I am an everyday person who just felt a bit helpless in the current political and religious climates. I started this blog as a place to work through my own thoughts, and in hopes that maybe if I am lucky this blog could help someone else.

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Am I a Christian? Depends on who you ask. Some would say yes, I certainly attend church many Sundays, and I am actively engaged with the Bible and consider myself to have a form of faith and spirituality that is often rooted in Christian tradition. I'm sure that there are those who disagree, who would say that I no longer meet their requirements to be a "born-again" Christian, or say that the change in me indicates that maybe I never was a "real" Christian to begin with. I'm sure some would go so far as to call me a heathen, heretic, and/or blasphemer.  I sometimes still use the label Christian for myself, it keeps things simple when people ask. But the label isn't important to me. One thing I've learned along this journey is that holding tightly to certainty leads to a faith crisis when new information contradicts those tightly held beliefs. I now choose to hold my beliefs with an open palm, ready for them to change and grow as I change and grow and learn new things.

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I am not here to tell you what to believe. The purpose of this blog is not to express my personal doctrine or theology. My intent is to discuss ways in which it seems the evangelical church is gaslighting Jesus, and demonstrate alternative interpretations of scripture, regardless of their "truth". I hope that in reconsidering traditional western evangelical interpretations, you might find that the bible is not as "clear" as many say, and that popular interpretation of scripture is not immune to manipulation by those in power. I plan to share stories from my own journey of deconstructing and reclaiming the faith I was raised in, so that others struggling with similar situations might feel less alone. I plan to include posts that contain my own philosophizing on a variety of topics. 

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Because it needs to be said: While this blog is not about my personal beliefs, the nature of the current state of our society and especially religious spaces makes it important for me to be direct about some of my values. I am a supporter of all identities under the LGBTQIA2S+ Umbrella. I am pro-choice. I do my best to be better at being anti-racist every day. I support the rights of individuals who are  Queer, Black, People of Color, Indigenous, Women, and Immigrants, as well as all other human rights. I support freedom of religion and everyone's right to their beliefs and practices - so long as they do not harm others or inhibit the freedoms of others. If you encounter anything on this site that does not align with these values, please notify me. I want to correct that as quickly as possible.

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I am not an expert in theology. I am repeating myself because I am inevitably going to make mistakes. I may unknowingly say things that are incorrect or say things that are unintentionally offensive. I will do my best to correct errors quickly and admit to and apologize for mistakes. But I don't claim this blog to be an expert resource - just a sharing of thoughts and experiences. Please be patient as I am still learning and growing myself.

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I am not a professional. I am not currently making any money from this blog or social media. I have a job and other personal pursuits. This is something I am choosing to do with whatever spare time I have. I cannot promise to get posts out regularly or respond to emails promptly. But I promise I will do my best to post and respond when I am able.

 

You can contact me by email: gaslightingjesus@gmail.com 

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